Admit it. We love to be the center of attention every once in a while. It can be when your teacher praises you for that excellent book report on Pride and Prejudice or when your boss gives you a task that no one else in the office, not even the manager, can do. It is like a drug – a stimulant that gives off a magical sensation that gives a boost to your ego, enabling you to do better and better and better.

But just like any drug, it is highly addictive. Some people, in one way or another, have grown addicted to attention. It made them dependent to this drug that seeking has become an avenue to satisfy their needs.

The existence of these people is common knowledge. In any environment such as a school or an office, at least one or two of these are present. In one point of your life, you have talked, worked or even befriended these people.

According to my research, there are various types of attention seeking. Some of them are the infamous drama queens, where insignificant dilemmas become the apocalypse; the sufferer who believes he is Atlas carrying the weight of the world and all its sufferings; the organizer who takes charge of anything and everything not to help people, but to have attention; and the busy bee who tells you that his schedule is too hectic for rest and relaxation, but never too busy to tell you how busy he is.

Generally, we see them as annoying and inconsiderate. No matter how hard we try to ignore these beings, it seems that they still get on our nerves. We may look calm to them but in our minds, we have already killed them three times. And if things get out of hand, we might never get to hold our tempers in and finally blurt our lungs out, “Damn, don’t you ever shut up?!”

But little do we know, they also don’t know that they’re doing it. Yes, they do not mean to be this way. They believe they’re just doing their thing, living a regular life according to their principles. But in reality, they are seeking attention subconsciously.

There are various possible reasons for their actions, but it can be said that the causes roots from childhood experiences such as trauma or neglect.

With this, we should know better. It is not enough that we ignore or we wish death upon them. Yes, they are annoying but we must keep in mind that they are human and they must never be deprived of what they need most – Change.

Porcupines are those tiny yet pointy creatures living in the wild in the areas of South America and Europe. In winter, these pointy rodents hug one another in order to share their body heat.

But, have you ever thought how painful it must be? Hedgehogs like them cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp quills. Stepping away from them would be freezing themselves to death. So, they endure the pain in order to survive.

Now, imagine human beings are like porcupines.

People get close to one another in order to feel warm. They get to know each other and develop a relationship. As the relationship goes deeper, the people gets closer and hugs become tighter. As the hugs become tighter, their quills and needles prick and hurt them more and more. Porcupines sacrifice warmth for comfort.

In psychology, this is called The Hedgehog’s Dilemma or The Porcupine’s Dilemma, coined by rthe German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer.

Aren’t we all like this?

When we get close to a person, we tend to hurt the person more. Sometimes, we are the ones getting hurt. We are forced to move away, isolating ourselves from everyone and endure the freezing winter, just to avoid hurting others.

He suggests that porcupines should find the right distance to receive warmth and comfort without hurting themselves too much.

Certainly, it is a challenge for us.

Once hurt, we tend to be defensive of pain and shut out the world for us to be safe. However, man is a social animal. He cannot live without the interaction from other humans.

The real challenge is not how we will survive in the cold alone. But how will we survive through the cold with the other porcupines, despite the pricks and points of the quills.

‘Til next time,
Aencille

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PS: To Ate Rozeh, I’m sorry for putting your link up really really late. Gomenasai~ u_u

It’s hard to live in Achiever World.

In achiever world, people get A+ like candy during Halloween, and getting a B+ is the end of the world and the entire human race.

In achiever world, being class president, being the entire student body president, being the teacher’s pet and being the Editor-in-Chief of the school paper is part of an average student’s life.

My classmates are creams of the crop. where most have the average grades of 1.50 to 1.00. They vary from achievers to overachievers that dedicate their lives to getting a Summa Cum Laude. They’ll cry a river if they got a 2.00 in their transcripts.

My classmates are active. So active that if they were given a chance to Join every single organizations in this University, they would.

And professors from our college have a good eye on our class. So you might say that it is an ideal class.

But one problem: I’m an exception.

The Simple Life
When I was still in High School, all I care about was living a proper life, following the rules, maintaining a decent grade, playing games on my free time and mingling with friends.

Pretty much, I was your average student who usually ranks 4 to 6 in class. And I really didn’t care.

I remember my High School classmates weren’t really savages for grades, including our class Valedictorian.

I’ll see her every once in a while holding her books, but never did I see in her eyes a blaze of desire for more grades. In fact, she was a piece of sunshine.

My competitors among the Top Ten students weren’t savages either. We all aim to do our best and study hard during exams. And that’s it. Next thing you know, we’re all back to our games and music trips.

One time, we even teamed up and helped each other during an quiz. The third honor student was whispering the answer to me, then I’ll pass it on to the fourth honor student and it goes on. I think the answers reached the entire class! And the teacher never suspected since honor students are supposed to be ‘honorable’ and have to set a good example.

It was insane, but fun. And this was my world.

The Battle for the Title
When I became a college freshmen, I thought that all the students would be like in High School — Carefree.

At first, they were careful with their grades.

But much to my surprise, as the years go on, my classmates don’t seem to handle low grades well. In fact, they were thirsty to achieve and impress professors. It’s like War of the Worlds in a classroom.

Grades aren’t everything. Getting a barely passing grade doesn’t mean the end of one’s life. And it certainly doesn’t mean that when you get a flat one, you are intelligent.

But society dictates standards.

No matter how hard I try to analyze and use the inner thinking that I’ve loved and been blessed with, it’s never credited. It’s always with the quizzes and the punishments and the written exams.

Truth is, with what they’re doing, I’m an idiot.

I know, I can’t even memorize a single sentence without having to repeat it five times. I can’t go to school early enough to catch the opening prayer. I can’t even do my news script in less than an hour. I can’t even get a good grade during recitation to my professor because I’m not her favorite. I always get a minus five for simply asking for instructions to a seatmate.

The only thing missing now is getting a minus 10,000 for being Aencille Avila Santos.

I know I’m an idiot. A forever loser who doesn’t even know how to get a 1.00 in my transcript. And I’m sorry I can’t be good enough for you guys.

The only thing I’m good at is ranting and overanalyzing things, which is never credited.

Truth is, I even wonder why I’m doing this news script right now in the morning if in the end, I’m going to get a 2.50 in my transcript.

All this… for what?

Welcome to Achiever World.

Whoever said that being a writer is easy has never undergone the blade of an editor and the frostbite of inspiration.

There is more than meets the eye when you make writing a profession. Common peeves like worrying about the rules of grammar and the express yourself principle are just two. That’s not even half of it.

I’m still a student — A mere undergraduate. And my life as a student journalist is diligence and rejection personified.

Diligence
Diligence is your earnest efforts to achieve your goal. It also means sacrificing movie marathon night to finish an article due Tuesday for your professor. From chasing people around just to get a statement, up to reading your stylebook over and over again to avoid mistakes, the situations are boundless. And the worst on my list, waking up early even if it is already a rest day.

Giving up my leisure time doesn’t feel like a sacrifice. Writing is never a chore if you’re in love with it. And when you’re in love, time flies when you spend time together.

But the waking up early part? Well, I’m working on it.

Rejection
Meanwhile, rejection is where you are lucky enough that from your 10 paragraph article, 2 are still standing tall. The rest all went down the drain.

When the editor has too much of cold blood in his veins, he will mercilessly slaughter your write-up, cutting it down, piece by piece until it gets its right shape. When you get it back, you hardly recognize it. This process, as coined by Filipino writers, the pagkakatay.

And that’s just one form of rejection. I applaud you if this is only what you got.

What if you, yourself, got rejected just because the editor thinks you couldn’t make the cut. Worse, all the editor did was just stole one glance from you and thought, “I don’t like you.”

But never fear! One editor can never dictate if you could write or not, especially if it only took one look.

Now what?
As a writer, obstacles in the form of deadlines, evil editors, difficult topics and colleagues will block your way. These may discourage you from striding towards your goal.

Your weapons aside from the mighty pen, or laptop if you prefer typing, are your willpower and optimism. Fight the battles for a better you.

Don’t curse these obstacles just yet, for they serve as your training grounds, in order to be strong, not only in your profession and skills, but as well as to develop the heart.

At the end of the day, think about the readers whose lives you have touched with your words of the news, inspiration and other whatnot. It could have made their day. Better, it already changed their lives.

This life is difficult — but indeed, fulfilling.

Aencille A. Santos, 18, Centro Escolar University - Manila, AB Journalism, Resident weirdo, http://chelli.toffeenut.org

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PS: I just submitted this at Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Youngblood column. I don’t care whether it gets published or not. All I care about is that I got to express myself. (At nagparinig na rin ako konti.)

Honesty — a noun. It pertains to truthfulness, sincerity or frankness.

This word is often related to admitting to a wrong act. Like the famous George Washington.

Despite the risk of getting in trouble, he dare admit to his father that he cut down the cherry tree. Surprised enough, little George wasn’t scolded. In fact, he was praised by his father for the honesty he showed.

Most of the time, this is how we relate honesty to. But as a know-it-all, I think that there are different forms of honesty.

1. The Honesty of Surrender. The common perception of honesty. It is where you wave the white flag and surrender by admitting an error and accepts the punishment laid down before you.
2. The Honesty of the Wounded. This may be a topic of debate among you, my dear readers. People tend to keep their hurt emotions inside, despite the need to tell someone about it. To make it clear, let’s imagine a boy and a girl who are good friends.

   The boy constantly raps the girl’s drawings. Once, his critique went overboard, he thus hurt the girl. Despite her grief, she instead chose to keep quiet, in order not to hurt the feelings of her friend.

   This is a lack of honesty, even when the times demand it. Truth sets people free, no matter how it hurts.

3. The Honesty of the Safe. The sister of The Honesty of the Wounded. The difference is, people tend to soften and sugarcoat too much, that the edge of the message is now blunt.

   The difference of being nice and being too safe is wide. Being nice is carefully describing; Being too safe is being plastic.

Dear readers, again, honesty often goes a long way. Communication is key.

It all comes down to where honesty will exist. At the right place. At the right time.

‘Til then, my dear readers.

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